“Kung Pwede Bang Ikaw na Lang” (BL STORY)

Hindi naman dapat espesyal ang araw na iyon.

Wala namang dapat mangyaring kakaiba.

Pero sa buhay ni Jace Madrigal, ang mga araw na “ordinaryo” ang mas madalas nagiging simula ng bagyo.

Pagod siya.

Mas pagod pa sa pagsisiksikan ng BGC traffic.

Mas pagod pa sa paulit-ulit na deadlines na hindi natatapos.

Pero higit sa lahat—

pagod siyang magpanggap na okay pa siya.

At sa dami ng café sa lungsod, sa dami ng lugar na pwede niyang pasukan,

bakit dito pa siya napunta—

sa isa pang maliit na coffee shop sa Makati na amoy cinnamon rolls at kahapon?

Bakit dito pa niya makikita ang kaguluhang hindi niya hiniling?

Bakit dito niya mamemeet si Hollis Rivera?

9:32 PM.

Kalalabas lang ni Jace sa meeting na mas toxic pa sa ex niyang hindi pa rin tumitigil mang-stalk sa kanya.

He pushed the café door open—

gusto lang niya ng tahimik, gusto lang niya ng kape, gusto lang niya ng konting pahinga.

Pero ang sumalubong sa kanya?

Isang baristang nakayuko, mukhang pagod pero cute in a chaotic kind of way, may buhok na medyo kulot, at may hawak na bagong gawa na latte.

“Sir, welcome po—ay—”

Nagulat si Hollis, natabig ang tasa—

SPLASH.

Tumama ang kape sa sleeve ni Jace.

Literal.

Mainit.

Diretso.

And for the first time that night—

Jace snapped.

“Seriously?”

Hollis looked horrified.

“G—God, sorry! Hindi ko sinasad—wait, tissue, tissue—”

Hinablot niya ang tissue box, halos mahulog pa ang iba.

But Jace took a step back, jaw clenched.

“Don’t.”

Malinaw, matalim, malamig.

Hollis froze, tissue still in hand.

“I can clean myself,” Jace added, irritated but composed in the most dangerous way.

Hollis bit his lip, napalunok.

“Sorry,” he whispered.

“Hindi ko sinasadya. Pagod lang talaga ako. Nag-double shift ako—tas may naunang customer na—”

“I didn’t ask for your autobiography.”

Jace cut him off, sharp.

Hollis looked away, embarrassed.

“I was explaining.”

“I didn’t need the explanation.”

Hollis straightened up.

“Okay,” he said quietly,

“pero pasensya pa rin.”

Jace exhaled—long, deep, pagod na pagod.

Hindi na dapat siya nag-react ng ganoon, pero sobra na ang bigat ng araw niya.

He sat down sa isang table malapit sa bintana.

Umupo si Hollis sa counter, hindi makatingin sa kanya.

At habang tinititigan ni Jace ang sarili niyang damp sleeve,

napansin niyang pinapanood siya ni Hollis sa gilid ng mata—

worried, guilty, pero hindi nangungulit.

That should’ve annoyed him.

Pero hindi.

Hindi iyon ang inaasahan niyang maramdaman.

After ten minutes, lumapit ulit si Hollis dala ang bagong gawa na latte at isang maliit na plate ng cookie.

“On the house,” sabi niya.

“Para doon sa kape na nabuhos ko.”

Jace didn’t look up.

“No need.”

“Hindi ‘to need,” sagot ni Hollis,

“this is me being decent.”

Napatingin si Jace.

Hindi siya sanay na sinasagot.

Lalong hindi siya sanay sa ganitong klase ng honesty—

quiet but firm.

Hollis placed the cup gently on the table.

“Soft brew. Less bitter. Mas appropriate sa mukha mo tonight.”

Jace blinked.

“…What?”

Ngumiti si Hollis—small, shy, pero may palaayong tapang.

“Magaan lang. ‘Di ko sinabing panget ka.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You thought it.”

Jace inhaled sharply.

This boy—

or man, whatever he was—

was irritatingly perceptive.

“Relax, sir,” Hollis added.

“Just trying to lighten your mood.”

“I don’t need my mood lightened.”

“Nakita ko nga,” sabay talikod niya, pabalik sa counter.

For some reason…

Jace almost smiled.

Almost.

The next day,

Jace returned.

Wala siyang dahilan.

Wala siyang plano.

Wala siyang lakas.

Pero nasa harap na naman siya ng café at 10:14 PM.

Pagbukas ng pinto, narinig niya ang boses na hindi dapat niya gustong marinig:

“Oh… ikaw ulit.”

Hollis.

Nakasandal sa counter.

Mukhang pagod na naman pero masaya siyang makita si Jace.

“Don’t worry,” Hollis smirked,

“hindi ako magtatapon ng kape today.”

Jace raised a brow.

“Good.”

“But same drink?” Hollis asked.

Jace paused.

“…Yes.”

Hollis grinned as if he just won something.

Two weeks passed.

Routines formed.

Silence became comfortable.

Arguments became jokes.

And Jace’s walls—

the ones he kept up for years—

started cracking.

One night,

Hollis found him outside the café.

Inside his car.

Head resting on the steering wheel.

Shoulders shaking.

Jace didn’t hear him approach.

“Hey…” Hollis whispered, knocking lightly on the window.

“Jace…”

Jace looked up—eyes red.

Caught.

Exposed.

Vulnerable.

“What do you want?” Jace snapped, wiping his face quickly.

“‘Di ako lalapit kung ayaw mo,” Hollis said gently.

“Pero nakita kitang umiiyak.”

“I wasn’t.”

“Jace.”

“Wala kang nakita.”

“Lahat nakita ko.”

Jace’s hands curled into fists.

“Leave me alone.”

“No,” Hollis whispered,

voice soft but immovable.

“You shouldn’t be alone right now.”

Jace slammed the door open, stepping out.

“Don’t act like you know me.”

“I don’t,” Hollis said.

“But I see enough.”

“Bullshit.”

“Talaga?” Hollis stepped closer.

“Kita ko sa mata mo kung anong klaseng sakit ’yan.”

“You know nothing.”

“You’re scared,” Hollis breathed.

“And lonely. And tired. And—”

“STOP.”

Jace’s voice broke—loud enough to echo in the quiet street.

“Just—stop.”

Hollis slowly reached out—

not touching him,

just letting his hand hover close.

“Jace…”

soft, pleading,

“kung kailangan mo lang ng katahimikan…

nandito lang ako.”

Jace shut his eyes.

And without knowing why,

for the first time in a very long time—

He didn’t push someone away.

Later that night,

Hollis brought him to the rooftop of the café.

The city lights softened the air.

Wind brushed their skin.

And the silence felt less like isolation—

and more like home.

“Dito ako tumatakas,” Hollis whispered.

“Kapag hindi ko na kaya sa baba.”

Jace looked at him—really looked.

“Why?”

“Because people come and go,” Hollis said with a sad smile.

“At natuto akong huwag umasa na may mananatili.”

Jace’s chest tightened.

“Then why do you keep being nice to me?”

Hollis looked away.

“Because you look like someone… na hindi tinuturuan mahalin ang sarili niya.”

Jace’s breath hitched.

“What makes you say that?”

“Your silence,” Hollis answered.

“Mas malakas pa kaysa sa sigaw.”

And for the first time,

Jace asked something he never asked anyone:

“Is it okay…

if I stay here a little longer?”

Hollis smiled softly.

“Kung pwede lang nga sana…

dito ka na tumira.”

Jace froze—

unprepared for how warm that line felt.

The tension between them grew.

Closer every day.

Dangerous every night.

Hands brushing.

Statements half-said.

Eyes lingering where they shouldn’t.

And then came the rooftop moment.

Jace stepped closer.

Way too close.

Hollis held his breath.

“Bakit ka lumalapit?” Hollis whispered.

“Bakit ka hindi umaatras?” Jace replied.

Their faces were inches apart.

Hollis’ voice shook.

“Jace… wag ngayon.”

“Why not?”

“Baka hindi mo ako gusto,” Hollis whispered.

“Baka masyado ka lang…

malungkot.”

Jace clenched his jaw.

“Hollis—”

But Hollis stepped back.

“I don’t want to be a replacement for the pain you're trying to forget.”

And Jace—

for once—

was speechless.

A week later,

everything broke.

The café was about to close.

Jace arrived late—pagod, pero handang sabihin ang hindi niya masabi.

Pero bago pa siya makapasok…

isang pamilyar na boses ang tumawag sa kanya:

“JACEY?”

His blood ran cold.

It was his ex.

The man who broke him in more ways than one.

The man he swore never to see again.

“Baby, we need to talk.”

Hollis, standing behind the door,

froze.

Jace turned stiffly, voice hostile.

“What are you doing here?”

His ex smirked.

“I came to get you back, Jacey.”

He touched Jace’s arm—

too familiar, too bold.

And behind the glass door,

Hollis saw everything.

The touch.

The closeness.

The history.

And the ache punched through his chest like a blade.

Jace sensed him.

“Hollis—”

Pero hindi na umalis si Hollis sa pinto.

Hindi na siya nagkunwari ng tapang.

He whispered—

voice breaking,

quiet enough para kay Jace lang marinig,

pero sapat para basagin ang mundo nila:

“Kung pwede bang ako na lang…”

Hollis’ eyes glistened.

“…pero bakit parang hindi ako yung pipiliin mo?”

“Kung pwede bang ako na lang… pero bakit parang hindi ako yung pipiliin mo?”

Iyon ang linyang hindi inasahan ni Jace Madrigal.

Hindi sa kahit anong sabihin niya.

Hindi sa kahit anong kaya niyang ilaban.

Pero nang marinig niya kay Hollis Rivera iyon—

parang may tumama sa dibdib niya nang diretso.

Walang babala.

Walang preno.

Walang awa.

Napatigil siya.

Napalingon.

At doon niya nakita si Hollis, nakatayo sa gilid ng pinto ng café—

mukhang nasaktan sa antas na halos hindi na makahinga.

Behind him, Jace’s ex smirked.

“Cute,” the ex sneered.

“May puppy ka na pala ngayon, Jace?”

Jace stiffened.

“Huwag mong idamay siya.”

“Oh, come on,” the ex rolled his eyes.

“You’re not serious about him. You never moved on from me.”

Hollis flinched hard.

Jace instantly snapped.

“Don’t speak like you know what I feel.”

The ex stepped closer, ignoring him.

“We both know how this works.

You get lonely, you find temporary distractions—

pero ako pa rin ang babalikan mo.”

Jace’s fists tightened.

“Hindi na kita binabalikan.”

“Really?” the ex smirked, brushing fingers along Jace’s sleeve.

“Kaya nakatayo ka pa rin dito, talking to me, letting me touch you?”

Jace jerked away.

“DON’T touch me.”

Hollis swallowed—shaking, hurting.

The ex smirked again, cruelly confident.

“Ikaw? Pipiliin mo yan?

Yung barista?

Yung wala namang maiaalok sayo?”

The insult hit Hollis like a slap.

Jace’s blood boiled.

“Isa pa—”

His voice dropped, low and dangerous.

“—at baka makalimutan kong hindi kita sinasaktan.”

But the ex only laughed.

“Relax. Alam ko namang soft ka pagdating sa feelings.

Pero let’s be honest—

hindi ka nagtatagal sa mga kagaya niya.”

Hollis stepped forward, voice trembling but brave.

“Wala kang kilala tungkol kay Jace.”

The ex raised a brow.

“Oh?

And you are—who, exactly?

The new distraction?”

Hollis opened his mouth—

pero naunahan siya ni Jace.

“Hindi siya distraction.”

The ex scoffed.

“Then what is he?”

Jace looked at Hollis—

and that single glance told Hollis one thing:

Jace was terrified to say the truth.

His ex smirked victoriously.

“See? You can’t even answer.”

Hollis backed away, heart breaking open.

“Jace,” he whispered,

“huwag mo na sagutin.”

“Hollis—”

“No.”

Hollis shook his head, tears threatening to fall.

“Hindi ko kailangan ng sagot na pinilit.

Hindi ko kailangan ng salitang hindi mo kayang panindigan.”

His voice cracked.

“Gusto ko yung sagot na kusa mong ibibigay…

kahit walang nakatingin.”

Jace stepped toward him.

“Hollis, please—makinig ka muna—”

Pero lumapit bigla ang ex, hawak ang braso ni Jace.

“Jacey, let’s go home.”

That was it.

That was the spark that ignited everything.

Jace yanked his arm away so hard the ex stumbled.

“I SAID DON’T TOUCH ME.”

The ex stared—shocked for the first time.

“J—Jacey…”

“My name is JACE.”

Jace’s voice thundered.

“Hindi mo na pag-aari ang kahit anong parte ng buhay ko.”

“But—”

“And stop acting like you have any right to pull me back.

Wala na tayo.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“I do.”

Jace inhaled deeply.

“For the first time… I really do.”

The ex’s face hardened with anger.

“Fine. Stay with him.”

He glared at Hollis.

“Magsasawa ka rin.

At pag nangyari ’yon—

I’ll be waiting.”

Jace stepped between them.

“Walang aabangan.

Walang babalikan.

Tapos na.”

The ex scoffed, shoved his hands in his pockets, and walked away.

Leaving Jace standing in the cold, heavy air.

And Hollis—

watching everything but not believing anything.

“Hollis…”

Jace whispered, taking a step toward him.

Pero Hollis stepped back.

“Don’t.”

His voice wavered.

“Don’t come near me para lang pigilan akong umalis.”

Jace froze—because he knew it was true.

“I’m not choosing him,” Jace said.

“But you’re not choosing me either,” Hollis murmured.

“Huwag mong gawing ganun,” Jace whispered.

“You know that’s not fair.”

Hollis shook his head, tears finally spilling.

“Fair?

Alam mo kung ilang araw na kita hinintay na magsabi man lang kung ano’ng meron tayo?”

Jace swallowed hard.

“Hindi ko alam kung paano—”

“Exactly.”

Hollis took a shaky breath.

“Hindi ka sigurado.

Hindi mo alam.

Hindi mo kayang tumalon.”

Jace felt the punch in his chest.

“Pero ako…”

Hollis whispered painfully,

“…ako, nahulog na.”

Jace’s eyes softened—hurt, desperate, breaking.

“Hollis—”

“I like you.”

Finally said.

Finally free.

Finally bleeding.

“I like you in a way na hindi ko in-expect, hindi ko pinlano, pero nangyari.

And every day, Jace… every day na nakikita kita dito,

iniisip ko kung bakit kahit anong gawin ko…

hindi mo ako tinitignan ng ganun.”

Jace shook his head.

“That’s not true.”

“Then bakit hindi mo masabi?” Hollis whispered.

“Bakit hindi mo masagot yung tanong ko?”

Jace clenched his fist.

“Because I’m scared.”

Hollis froze.

Jace finally spoke, voice cracking.

“I’m scared na baka hindi kita kayang mahalin ng tama.

I’m scared na baka maulit yung nangyari noon.

I’m scared na baka masaktan kita.”

Hollis stepped closer.

“Jace…

lahat naman tayo natatakot.”

“But you’re brave,” Jace whispered.

“And me…

I’ve always been afraid of being loved.”

Hollis stared at him, eyes shining with heartbreak and hope at the same time.

“So what now?” he asked softly.

“Tatakbo ka na naman?”

Jace exhaled shakily.

“No.”

He stepped closer.

Then closer.

Then closer.

Until their breaths mixed in the cold night air.

“I’m done running.”

Hollis swallowed.

“Then piliin mo ako.”

Jace lifted a trembling hand, cupping Hollis’s face gently.

“Hollis… kung pwede lang ikaw na lang…”

Hollis’s heart stopped.

“…then I’ll stop pretending I don’t want that.”

He leaned his forehead against Hollis’s.

“I want you.”

Hollis choked on a breath.

“You do?”

“I do.”

Jace pulled him into a hug—

tight, desperate, safe.

“You’re not a distraction.

You’re the first peace I’ve had in years.”

Hollis cried against his chest.

“And if you let me,” Jace whispered,

“I want to try.

Slowly.

Honestly.

With you.”

Hollis held him tighter.

“Okay,” he breathed.

“Okay.

Pero Jace… next time may pipilitin ka—

pipiliting mo sarili mong maging masaya.”

Jace smiled quietly.

“For you… I will.”

And under the soft glow of the café lights,

Jace kissed Hollis on the forehead.

A promise without words.

A beginning without fear.

A love without apologies.

At doon nagsimula ang totoong sagot sa tanong ni Hollis:

Kung pwede bang ikaw na lang?

At sa wakas—

ang sagot ni Jace:

Pwede.

At ikaw nga.

Ikaw talaga.

THE END.