“HINDI KITA BF—KAILANMAN HINDI KITA IPAGMAMALAKI!”

Ang sakit ng mga salitang iyon ay parang suntok sa sikmura.

Hindi dahil malakas.

Hindi dahil sinigawan siya.

Kundi dahil totoo.

Diretso.

Walang pag-aalinlangan.

At dahil nanggaling iyon sa taong minahal niya nang tahimik, nang matagal, nang buong puso.

“Hindi kita boyfriend, Noel! Hindi kita boyfriend—at higit sa lahat, HINDI KITA IPAGMAMALAKI!”

Parang tumigil ang mundo ni Noel sa mismong hallway na iyon ng Northcrest University.

Ang mga fluorescent lights na laging puti ay biglang luminaw nang sobra, halos nakakasakit sa mata.

Ang ingay ng mga estudyanteng nagdadaan ay nawala—napalitan ng putok ng puso niya sa loob ng tenga.

At si Soren Arcaya, ang campus darling, top engineering student, varsity swimmer, at anak ng kilalang architect sa bansa—ang taong matagal na niyang minahal nang palihim—ay nakatayo sa harap niya ngayon, galit, nanginginig, at puno ng pandidiri.

Hindi makapagsalita si Noel.

Hindi makagalaw.

Nakahawak pa ang kamay niya sa laylayan ng hoodie ni Soren—isang subconscious gesture ng paghingi ng kaunting haplos, kaunting lambing, kaunting pakiusap.

Pero iyon ang mas lalo pang nagpagalit kay Soren.

“Tumigil ka, Noel,” singhal ni Soren sabay bitiw sa hoodie niya.

“‘Wag mo na akong dikitan. Hindi mo ba gets? Hindi ako interesado sa’yo.”

At doon tuluyang bumigay ang mga daliri ni Noel.

Bumagsak ang kamay niya—parang tinanggal ang huling tali na kumakapit sa katahimikan niyang matagal nang naghihintay.

Mabilis na lumapit ang dalawang kaibigan ni Soren: sina Reese at Aldrin. Parehong may mga ngiting nakakasulasok, parehong halatang natuwa sa pag-atras ni Noel, parehong parang hayop na mas sabik sa gulo kaysa sa katotohanan.

“Bro,” sabi ni Aldrin, nakataas ang kilay, “bakit ba kasi pinapansin mo pa ‘yan?”

“Grabe,” dagdag ni Reese, “akala niya may chance naman siya? Hindi marunong tumingin sa salamin?”

At sa unang pagkakataon, tumingin si Soren sa kanilang dalawa—pero hindi niya sila sinaway.

Hindi niya ipinagtanggol si Noel.

Hindi niya kinastigo ang kaibigan.

Kahit isang salita.

Wala.

At iyon ang mas masakit.

Dahil kung hindi siya mahal ni Soren… pwede.

Kung walang nararamdaman si Soren… masakit pero maiintindihan.

Pero para hindi man lang siya ipagtanggol?

Para hayaan ang mga kaibigan na durugin siya?

Iyon ang hindi matanggap ni Noel.

Noel inhaled shakily, trying to keep whatever dignity he still had.

“Soren…”

Pumutol ang boses niya.

Nanginginig.

Punit.

Halos walang lakas.

“Alam kong—na alam mong may feelings ako. Pero…”

Lumunok siya.

“Hindi ko hinihinging—”

“Tama na,” matigas na putol ni Soren.

Hindi ‘tama na’ na puno ng pakiusap.

‘Tama na’ na puno ng pagod.

Puno ng pagsisisi na nakikita siya.

Puno ng hiya na may nakakaalam na may koneksiyon sila kahit sa maliit na paraan.

“Tama na, Noel.”

Humigpit ang panga ni Soren.

Tumikhim.

Halos napapikit.

At sa mababang boses na parang may sinusubukang pigilan, sinabi niya ang bagay na magpapabago ng buhay nila pareho.

“Kung may nangyari man sa atin—huwag mong ipagsabi. At huwag mong ipakita sa iba na may kahit ano tayo. Hindi kita jowa.”

Noel’s stomach twisted violently.

“Soren…”

“Kahit kailan,” dugtong ni Soren sa mas malamig na tono, “hindi kita ipagmamalaki.”

BOOM.

Parang lumubog ang hallway.

Parang napunit ang kalangitan.

Parang umulan ng bubog na dahan-dahang tumutusok sa balat niya.

Mabigat.

Masakit.

Hindi makatao.

Noel felt his chest collapse.

Pero bago pa siya makapagsalita, may tumawag mula sa likod nila.

“SOREN! BRO!”

Ang teammate ni Soren sa swimming team, si Marco, papalapit mula sa dulo ng hallway.

Ngumiti si Soren bigla.

Yung ngiting para bang walang nangyari.

Yung ngiting reserved para sa mundo—hindi para kay Noel.

“Uy, bro!” sagot ni Soren, mabilis na lumayo kay Noel.

Naglakad palayo.

Tumawa pa.

Parang hindi niya sinira ang isang tao isang minuto lang ang nakalipas.

Noel stood frozen.

At nagduluhan ang mga estudyante.

“Narinig niyo ‘yon?”

“Hindi daw niya ipagmamalaki.”

“Kawawa naman. Nakakahiya.”

“Obsessed siguro yung Noel na ‘yan.”

“Obviously, di sila bagay.”

May tumalikod.

May tumawa.

May tumingin sa kanya na parang miyembro siya ng circus.

Pero may isa pang hindi niya alam:

May isang babae sa dulo ng hallway, nakayuko, hawak ang phone—at nagre-record ng video.

Hindi iyon normal na student.

Hindi iyon usisera lang.

Si Mika Espino, editor-in-chief ng campus newspaper—kilalang walang sinasanto kapag may kwentong kailangang ilabas.

At hindi niya alam na nakuhanan niya ang lahat.

Pagdating ng hapon, nagkulong si Noel sa dorm room niya.

Pinilit tumawa sa sarili.

Pinilit wag umiyak.

Pinilit maging okay kahit halos hindi siya makahinga.

Tinanggal niya ang jacket niya.

Tinapon sa kama.

Humiga.

Pero hindi matahimik.

Umiikot sa utak niya ang mga salita.

Hindi kita ipagmamalaki.

Hindi kita ipagmamalaki.

Hindi kita ipagmamalaki.

Paulit-ulit.

Mas malakas.

Mas masakit.

At doon siya napahawak sa mukha niya.

Hindi para pahirin ang luha—

kundi para pigiling sumabog ang mukha niya sa galit at kahihiyan.

“Bakit ba ako umasa…” bulong niya.

Dahil mabait siya.

Dahil hinawakan niya ang kamay ko noong natakot ako noong ulan.

Dahil hinatid niya ako pauwi nang gabing iyon.

Dahil niyakap niya ako.

Dahil sinabi niyang ‘safe ako sa’yo, Noel.’

Dahil nginitian niya ako nang para bang ako lang ang tao sa mundo.

Pero lahat iyon pala… maaaring kasinungalingan.

O baka totoo.

Pero hindi sapat para ipagmalaki siya.

At mas masakit iyon.

Dahil kahit anong gawin niya, hindi siya magiging sapat para sa mundo ni Soren.

The next day, Noel didn’t want to go to class.

He didn’t want to see Soren.

He didn’t want to see Reese.

He didn’t want to see Aldrin.

He didn’t want to hear whispers.

Pero kailangan.

So he went.

At ang hindi niya alam…

panibagong bagyo ang naghihintay.

Pagdating ni Noel sa campus, may isang estudyanteng lumapit agad sa kanya.

“Hey,” sabi nito, hawak ang phone niya.

“I think… kailangan mong makita ‘to.”

“Ha?”

“Anonymous lang nag-send. This morning.”

Noel’s stomach twisted.

He clicked the link.

Lumabas ang isang video.

Tumigil ang mundo.

Ang video ay kuha kahapon sa hallway:

Si Soren, nakaharap kay Noel.

Nabibingi ang hallway sa sigaw.

At malinaw na malinaw:

“HINDI KITA BF—KAILANMAN HINDI KITA IPAGMAMALAKI!”

Then the push.

Then the laughter of his friends.

Then the humiliation.

Noel dropped the phone.

His heart dropped with it.

“H-how many saw this?”

The student swallowed.

“Uh… it’s… trending na sa student group. Overnight.”

Napunta ang dugo niya sa talampakan.

Trending.

Public.

Recorded.

Forever.

Hindi na ito haka-haka.

Hindi na ito tsismis.

Hindi na ito kusa maglalaho.

Ito ay pruweba.

Ipinaskil.

At pinapanood ng buong Northcrest University.

At bago pa man makareact si Noel—

Mika appeared from behind a column.

“Found you,” sabi niya, hawak ang camera at laptop bag.

“M-Mika…” bulong ni Noel, nanginginig. “Ikaw ba ang nag-upload?”

“No,” sagot ni Mika, “pero ako ang nakakuha ng original. And I know exactly who leaked the edited version. It wasn’t me.”

“Edited version?”

“Tinatanggal ‘yung ibang audio,” sabi ni Mika, tumititig sa kanya.

“Para lumabas na ikaw ang obsessed. Para lumabas na ginulo mo si Soren. Para lumabas na ikaw ang sumunod. Para lumabas na desperado ka.”

Noel felt sick.

“And I know exactly who did it.”

“Who?” he whispered.

Mika looked up.

Hindi galit ang mata niya.

Hindi awa.

Kundi pagkilala sa isang katotohanan.

“Soren’s friend,” Mika said.

“Reese.”

At doon, may kumislap sa mata ni Mika.

“And Noel… listen carefully.”

Lumapit siya, halos nose-to-nose with him.

“Hindi mo alam, pero that wasn’t the only video recorded that day.”

Noel blinked.

“H-ha? What do you mean?”

May ngiti si Mika na halong pagtataka at pagkagulat.

“There is another angle,” bulong niya.

“Isang kuha na hindi nila alam na narecord…”

Tumigil siya sandali.

At sa mabagal, mabigat, nanginginig na boses, sinabi niya ang mga salitang magpapabago sa buong istorya:

“At sa video na iyon…

hindi ikaw ang sumunod.”

Tumigil ang paghinga ni Noel.

“Si Soren.”

Tumigil ang mundo ni Noel. Hindi dahil sa hiya—iyon, nasaktan na siya kahapon. Hindi dahil sa galit—iyon, pinilit na niyang lunukin.

Kundi dahil sa sinabi ni Mika:

“May isa pang video… at doon, si Soren ang sumusunod sa’yo.”

Hindi makagalaw si Noel.

“Are you… sure?” bulong niya, halos maputol ang boses.

Mika crossed her arms, all business, pero may malambot na tingin.

“Hindi ako nagbibiro. May nakakuha ng second angle. Mas malayo. Mas raw. Mas… totoo.”

Noel’s pulse sped up.

“Bakit hindi nila nilabas?” tanong niya, nanginginig.

“Dahil destroys the narrative,” Mika answered simply.

“It shows Soren following behind you before he shouted. Shows him panicking when you walked away. And… shows something they definitely don’t want people to see.”

Noel swallowed hard.

“What… what did it show?”

Mika studied him.

Then she asked, very gently:

“Noel… gusto mo bang malaman?”

Hindi siya nakasagot.

He wanted to know.

He didn’t want to know.

He wanted closure.

He wanted distance.

He wanted—

He didn’t know anymore.

Noel nodded slowly.

“Yes.”

Mika exhaled, relieved.

“Okay. But you’re not seeing it here.”

She motioned for him to follow.

In the campus media room, Mika plugged in a USB drive.

Large monitor.

Dim light.

2 chairs.

“Ready ka?” she asked.

Noel wasn’t.

But he nodded.

Mika pressed play.

The video started from a distance—taken from the opposite side of the hallway where the first viral video was shot.

This angle captured everything the crowd didn’t see.

At first, Noel saw only himself—

walking away from the end of the hall that morning, clutching his books, trying to leave quietly.

And then—

He saw Soren.

Running.

Literally running after him.

Not calmly.

Not arrogantly.

Soren’s face was pale.

Shaking.

Eyes wide—like a man terrified of losing something important.

“Soren…” bulong ni Noel, putting a hand over his mouth.

Mika pressed pause.

“There’s more.”

Play.

Soren reached for him.

But Noel—hurt, shaking—kept walking away, unaware.

Soren stepped forward again, reaching, then pulling his hand back at the last second, conflicted.

Then…

their friends arrived.

Reese and Aldrin.

They blocked Soren’s path for a second, laughing, nudging him, slinging arms over his shoulder.

And Noel saw clearly:

the shift on Soren’s face—

fear → panic → shame → surrender.

Reese whispered something, the audio faint but still captured:

“Dude, wag mong sabayan ‘yan. People are watching. Baka isipin—alam mo na.”

Aldrin snorted.

“Yeah bro, cut him off. Or we’ll do it for you.”

Noel froze.

He could almost hear Soren’s heartbeat in the video—

fast

erratic

broken.

Then came the moment:

Soren, trembling, stepped forward—

and shouted:

“HINDI KITA BF—KAILANMAN HINDI KITA IPAGMAMALAKI!”

Noel looked away.

The pain came back—sharp and unbearable.

But Mika grabbed his wrist.

“Noel. Look.”

Noel turned back to the screen.

There—

right after the shout—

right after Noel’s heart shattered—

right after Soren pretended he didn’t care—

Soren collapsed a little.

Just a fraction.

His face…

crumbled.

And he whispered—so quiet, it nearly didn’t register:

“…sorry.”

Noel clutched his shirt.

Because that whisper—

was for him.

Not for show.

Not for the crowd.

Soren whispered sorry…

because he was breaking, too.

And then the part that shocked Noel the most:

When Soren walked away with his friends, the video didn’t end.

Soren turned back.

Twice.

Not with disgust.

Not with mockery.

But with longing.

Regret.

And fear.

Fear of losing Noel.

“No…” Noel whispered. “Hindi totoo ‘to…”

Mika placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Hindi mo kailangang mahalin ‘yang tao. Hindi mo kailangang bigyan ng chance. Pero Noel, eto ang totoo—”

She pointed to the frozen frame of Soren’s face as he watched Noel walk away.

“He didn’t push you because he didn’t care. He pushed you because he was scared.”

Noel’s chest tightened painfully.

“But that doesn’t make it okay,” Mika added quickly. “Hindi excuse ‘yon. But you deserve the truth.”

Noel wiped his eyes.

“T-thank you… Mika…”

She nodded.

“Now the question is… what do you want to do?”

Noel didn’t know the answer.

Not yet.

He walked out of the media room like a ghost, replaying everything.

Soren running after him.

Soren reaching for him.

Soren flinching when his friends pressured him.

Soren whispering “sorry” when he thought no one could hear.

Ang sakit.

Pero may katotohanan sa likod nito:

Soren cared.

He just didn’t have the courage to show it.

Not yesterday.

Not in front of the crowd.

Not when it mattered.

And that was something Noel couldn’t forgive easily.

But fate didn’t give him time to breathe.

As Noel walked toward the library, a loud commotion erupted behind him.

“SOREN ARCAYA, NASAN KA?!”

“The video! Bro, nakita mo na?!”

“Ang trending! More than 10k views!”

“Dude, ang dami nang nagagalit sa’yo!”

Students rushed around.

Phones up.

Screens glowing.

A wave of shouts, curses, reactions.

Noel froze.

Then someone tapped his shoulder.

Paglingon niya—

si Soren.

Breathless.

Sweating.

Terrified.

“NOEL—”

Before Noel could answer—

A group of students surrounded them.

“Arcaya! Ano ‘tong ginawa mo sa kanya?!”

“Bro, ang sama mo!”

“Bakit ka nag-iiyak? You hurt him tapos ikaw pa ‘tong umiiyak ngayon?”

“Explain yourself, Arcaya!”

Noel panicked.

He didn’t like attention.

He didn’t want a scene.

He didn’t want people fighting because of him.

But Soren grabbed his arm.

“Noel… please… talk to me…”

“No,” Noel whispered. “Not like this. Not here.”

“Sana dito,” Soren pleaded, voice breaking. “Please.”

But the crowd grew louder.

“Soren! Humingi ka ng tawad!”

“Noel, wag mo siyang pansinin!”

“Bakit ka nagtatago, Arcaya?!”

“Mga kaibigan mo may kasalanan din!”

Tumaas ang tensyon.

Naglalapit ang camera phones.

Nagkakagulo na.

Noel felt his heart pounding painfully.

This wasn’t what he wanted.

He didn’t want revenge.

He didn’t want chaos.

He just wanted to be left alone.

But Soren—

Soren looked like he was drowning.

“Noel…” bulong ni Soren, nanginginig, “please… don’t walk away. Hindi ko kaya.”

And that broke Noel a little.

Because despite everything—

the pain,

the humiliation,

the rejection—

Soren was looking at him now

the way Noel always dreamed he would.

Soft.

Vulnerable.

Desperate.

“Noel,” Soren whispered, “I never said I didn’t care. I panicked. I was scared. I—”

“You hurt me,” Noel whispered back. “In front of everyone.”

Soren shut his eyes tight.

“I know. I know. And I hate myself for it. Noel… give me a chance to explain. Please.”

Noel hesitated.

Mika’s voice echoed in his head:

You deserve the truth. But you also deserve to choose whether it’s enough.

Noel looked at Soren.

“Okay,” he said slowly.

“I’ll listen.”

Soren’s eyes lit with hope.

Hope that hurt.

“But not here,” Noel added.

“Not in front of them.”

The crowd gasped.

Soren nodded immediately.

“Anywhere. Anytime. Just tell me.”

Noel exhaled.

“My dorm. 7 PM.”

“Yes,” Soren whispered, relief flooding his face. “Yes. I’ll be there.”

6:58 PM.

Noel sat on his bed, palms sweaty.

7:00 PM.

A soft knock.

Noel opened the door.

Soren stood there.

No friends.

No shields.

No ego.

Just a boy who messed up and didn’t know how to fix it.

They sat.

Silence.

Then—

“Noel,” Soren whispered, voice trembling,

“I wanted to hold your hand yesterday…”

Noel stopped breathing.

“…but I was scared my friends would see.

Scared the team would see.

Scared the whole school would see.

Scared… that you’d see how much I actually liked you.”

Noel blinked.

“What…?”

Soren covered his face with his hands.

“I like you, Noel. I like you so much it scares me. Kahit noong first year pa lang. Kahit noong tinawag mo akong ‘Arcaya’ ng isang beses at hindi ko matanggal sa isip ko.”

Noel stared.

“I shouted at you,” Soren whispered painfully,

“because I thought…

if no one sees how much I want you,

hindi nila ako huhusgahan.”

Tears pooled in Soren’s eyes.

“But when I saw you walk away…

Noel… parang may humila sa loob ko.

Parang mawawala ka.”

Noel felt something shift inside him.

“Soren…”

Soren reached out—slowly this time—

not grabbing, not pulling, not forcing.

“Please… let me try again.”

Noel held his breath.

Soren’s hand hovered inches from his.

Not touching.

Waiting.

Hoping.

“If you let me,” Soren whispered,

“I will never hide you again.”

The clock ticked.

Noel’s chest tightened.

This moment—

this choice—

would define everything.

And slowly…

very slowly…

Noel lifted his hand—

and placed it over Soren’s.

THE END.